One aspect of the disease of addiction, in irony to all the chaos that surrounds it, is that it is predictable. That’s right . . . predictable. More on that another time. But, for right now, on with the story started last Thursday (please read April 17 blog).
As expected, my friend called me because there was an “episode” over the weekend. “My friend went over to his sister’s place and found her passed out, zombie-like”, he related. “He was worried because no one had heard from her in about a week so he went to check. He can’t believe how she was living --- clutter, dirty dishes scattered around, clothes strewn about, general filth --- and she looks awful” he went on. “He’s shocked at how quickly she’s going down and the family is now worried, but they are scared and divided on what to do”, he ended, sadly.

“Not unusual,” I said to my friend. ”The disease is working on them, too. As long as it keeps them scared and divided, they will do nothing other than what they have been doing and that has not worked. If they want help, have them call me. It will cost them nothing to talk briefly.” They did.

“Who gets involved in an intervention?” was one of the questions asked. In the early days of intervention (it’s only been around since the ‘60s) there was a macabre saying, “Those who would be in the first 2 rows at her funeral”, I replied. In essence, those who love her, care for her, want to see her get well and would care enough to attend her funeral no matter when or where it was. Intervention? Funeral? Hmmm . . . .

A friend called me the other day after talking with a friend of his. “My friend’s sister is being destroyed by meth”, he said. “He wants to do something to help her, but his parents say they’ve talked with her and she’s ‘not ready’ so they are going to wait.” My friend suggested to his friend that his friend’s parents consider intervention. He said they think it won’t do any good until the sister is ready.

My heart hurts for this family and for their addicted loved one. “If they wait until they think she is ‘ready’ it may be too late”, I replied sadly. “They are just hoping she will get ‘ready’ on her own so they won’t need to do anything” my friend retorted. He knows the family is hoping for an easy way out, to not have to tackle this problem head on, to have their daughter realize her problem and take steps on her own. He knows they don’t want to spend the money or time on intervention, they are just hoping the issue goes away. My friend knows the world of addiction. He also knows the benefit of intervention. You see, my friend is an addict whose family loved him enough to professionally intervene when he wasn’t “ready.” He knows that if the family had waited for him to be ready he would probably be dead. He credits his family with saving his life and he is grateful for the courage it took for them to get help.

Like mine, his heart hurts. But, like the disease of addiction, he is patient and knows that he will be hearing from his friend again.

After a lovely dinner at a nice eatery in San Francisco with two therapist friends, our young waiter came by to inquire if we wanted dessert.  "What do you have?" one us posed.  The young man quickly began to recite the selections when he came to the last one, an ice cream taste-tempter with "cocaine sha . .  ." to which I quickly jumped in "Cocaine??  That was a Freudian slip!!!" and then promptly burst out laughing.  He caught himself and said "I mean Coconut . . .  Coconut shavings."  Yes, indeed.  Fowled up by the coconut.  I just couldn't let it go and said with a huge grin, "We'll all take that one!"  A quit whit he had and replied, "It will keep you up all night!!"  By this time everyone was howling.

 

We all wound up ordering the flourless chocolate cake and when he returned, still smiling from the experience, one of my pals said "I have to tell you that 2 of us are addiction therapists and have worked at a local treatment center; my friend here (pointing to me) is an interventionist."  The young man smiled broadly and said, "My sister has 5 years in the program."

 

When placed our bill on the table he laughed again and said "Thanks, ladies.  I took one of the desserts off for you!"

 

Bless his heart~

Spring is a time of abundant change.  Everywhere we look things are different with each passing day; lawns, gardens (and yes, weeds) are growing like crazy, the weather is warming, days are getting longer, flowers and trees are blooming.  Spring is also a time when we humans do a lot of changing.  It is a time when we feel more alive and burst forth with new resolve and energy, tackling issues that have been sitting dormant during the cold winter months . . . or maybe even years.  Health in general, and recovery in particular, are no exception.  Those who are in recovery might decide to work the steps again or take in more recovery-related activities and commitments.  Sometimes they decide to tackle collateral issues that have plagued them for a long time, i.e. quit smoking, start exercising, eat healthier.  Families that have been troubled with a loved one's alcoholism or addiction decide "now is the time" and commit as a family to getting outside help.  If you are in recovery, have you ever noticed how many "birthdays" there are during the spring?  Hmmm . . . . . 

 

 If you've been thinking about change in your life, perhaps now is the time!

Are you concerned about a loved one who is spiraling out of control with the use of alcohol and/or drugs? Perhaps you have heard of intervention or someone you know has recommended it to you. But you don't know any interventionists? Where do you start? How do you find someone? How do you know if they are competent?

The best source of referral is a personal one or one obtained from a reputable professional source, often a treatment center. The web is also a source, but it does not come with a personal recommendation.

Once you have located someone, now what? Start with finding out which model they utilize. Does it sound like the model you wish to have utilized in your situation? Does the interventionist travel? Talk with the interventionist and you will get a feel for how you "connect." Ask questions. Are you comfortable with this person and the answers you are getting? If so, you can ask for professional and personal references.

Do not make price or location of the interventionist the primary criteria. Good, private, independent interventionists travel. The person you hire to conduct this very important process should be someone you are comfortable with who is willing and able to give you the highest quality service.

Good Luck!

Alice Tanner
Interventionist
Get Help Now 415-717-3675

Founded in 2000 by Alice Tanner, a former attorney and now an intervention specialist. Alice began her own recovery through a Systemic Family Intervention, the intervention model she primarily uses in her practice. As a direct result of the Systemic Family Intervention she found help through a 28-day treatment program.

This rare background gives Alice the unique perspective of "knowing" first-hand where the alcoholic/addict is coming from, what it is like to be a patient in a 28-day treatment facility and how it feels to be on the receiving end of an intervention. She understands the desperation and despair the alcoholic/addict feels, as well as the frustration, fear, anguish and suffering the family and friends live with. She not only knows that interventions work and why, she is living proof. If you learn nothing more from this site than this, come away knowing there is help, there is hope. You need not struggle alone any longer.

Prior to becoming an intervention specialist and business consultant, Alice practiced law for 12 years. Her field of expertise was family law and criminal defense. Both of these areas are fraught with addiction and the legal and emotional consequences that addiction brings. This background coupled with her expertise in the field of addictive disease now allows Alice to work with families and their legal counsel when consequences of addiction result in legal entanglements.

Alice is a member of NAADAC, CAADAC and EAPA*. She works with the Other Bar of California, a group of recovering lawyers and judges dedicated to helping those afflicted with addiction disease in the legal community. Currently, she is working with the Sonoma County Department of Health Services developing an outreach program that addresses chemical dependency in older adults.

Available to travel nationwide and abroad, Alice works with families far and wide, large and small. Her clients come from all walks of life ranging in age from adolescent to senior citizen. She helps families struggling with all addictions including chemical dependency, gambling, eating disorders, sexual compulsivity, work and internet addictions and dual-diagnosis. Often, families are struggling with more than one addiction or multiple relapse which are all addressed. Working with families pre, during or post treatment, and working with one family at a time, a program of health and healing is tailored and a new life for them begins.

* NAADAC – National Association of Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors
CAADAC – California Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors
EAPA – Employee Assistance Professionals Association

Alice Tanner
Interventionist
Get Help Now 415-717-3675