Pre-Intervention: Limbo-Land

Got a call from a lady recently regarding her 24-year old daughter who she "just discovered" has been using cocaine for 2 years. The school she said she was going to, the jobs she said she held . . . all lies. The money going to the girl for "support and education" has been going up her nose. Her brother, who has been harboring this secret, is alarmed now because sis has started to shoot the stuff. So, the cat came out of the bag. Daughter had a "little marijuana problem a few years back, but we took care of that", Mom explains. Mom is really, really worried and ready to "do something right away." She has been referred by a well-known treatment center, we talk about intervention and her options, she is really ready but she needs to talk with ex-husband (cocaine daughter's dad). They have talked, she assures me, and he will be on board as he is scared to death. I tell Mom that, in my experience, if she (not the family) does not make a decision to move forward with intervention within a day or two tops she will most likely wind up in the pre-intervention place of indecision known as the Limbo Land. She gets that, assuring me that would never happen to her, she will call me back one way or another to let me know what her family is doing. Never heard from her.

I used to follow-up with these people . . . "Hi, just checking to see if you spoke with so and so, what your family has decided to do, how I can help you move forward", etc. Invariably they say one of three things:

1. He/she is going to go to counseling, a psychiatrist, getting meds, etc and we'll see how that works.
2. We decided to talk with him/her first (we are going to do it on our own).
3. It's premature/over-reacting to do an intervention because:
a. He/she hasn't hit bottom ~ He/she is not ready
b. The time for our family is bad now (vacations, health issues, work, etc).
c. We can't agree as a group that this is the way to go

Families will stay in this place until the next consequence. Then they will go through it again . . . and again . . . and again . . . just like their addicted loved one. Often, they stay in it too long and the consequence they receive is a real doozy or even irrecoverable. Sometimes they don't know this for years as in the case of testing positive for HIV/AIDS.

Why do families like this get stuck? Fear.
Whose fear? Theirs.
Tragic? Yes.
Avoidable? Absolutely.