One aspect of the disease of addiction, in irony to all the chaos that surrounds it, is that it is predictable. That’s right . . . predictable. More on that another time. But, for right now, on with the story started last Thursday (please read April 17 blog).
As expected, my friend called me because there was an “episode” over the weekend. “My friend went over to his sister’s place and found her passed out, zombie-like”, he related. “He was worried because no one had heard from her in about a week so he went to check. He can’t believe how she was living --- clutter, dirty dishes scattered around, clothes strewn about, general filth --- and she looks awful” he went on. “He’s shocked at how quickly she’s going down and the family is now worried, but they are scared and divided on what to do”, he ended, sadly.

“Not unusual,” I said to my friend. ”The disease is working on them, too. As long as it keeps them scared and divided, they will do nothing other than what they have been doing and that has not worked. If they want help, have them call me. It will cost them nothing to talk briefly.” They did.

“Who gets involved in an intervention?” was one of the questions asked. In the early days of intervention (it’s only been around since the ‘60s) there was a macabre saying, “Those who would be in the first 2 rows at her funeral”, I replied. In essence, those who love her, care for her, want to see her get well and would care enough to attend her funeral no matter when or where it was. Intervention? Funeral? Hmmm . . . .

A friend called me the other day after talking with a friend of his. “My friend’s sister is being destroyed by meth”, he said. “He wants to do something to help her, but his parents say they’ve talked with her and she’s ‘not ready’ so they are going to wait.” My friend suggested to his friend that his friend’s parents consider intervention. He said they think it won’t do any good until the sister is ready.

My heart hurts for this family and for their addicted loved one. “If they wait until they think she is ‘ready’ it may be too late”, I replied sadly. “They are just hoping she will get ‘ready’ on her own so they won’t need to do anything” my friend retorted. He knows the family is hoping for an easy way out, to not have to tackle this problem head on, to have their daughter realize her problem and take steps on her own. He knows they don’t want to spend the money or time on intervention, they are just hoping the issue goes away. My friend knows the world of addiction. He also knows the benefit of intervention. You see, my friend is an addict whose family loved him enough to professionally intervene when he wasn’t “ready.” He knows that if the family had waited for him to be ready he would probably be dead. He credits his family with saving his life and he is grateful for the courage it took for them to get help.

Like mine, his heart hurts. But, like the disease of addiction, he is patient and knows that he will be hearing from his friend again.