Thanksgiving Wishes

Happy Holiday From Addiction

Happy Holidays to all of our friends and family from Bay Area Intervention and Addiction Consulting - Alice Tanner & Loki my 3 year old Chow

Intervention is Only a Start

I was having coffee with a friend of mine from Southern California this afternoon and we got to talking about intervention, treatment and recovery. We both are in the field of addiction recovery; he has been in this business for over 30 years. We both agreed that intervention and treatment are mere beginnings, a bridge if you will, to recovery. Recovery is long-term . . . a lifelong process if we are lucky. Intervention and treatment are short-term, the start of this lifelong journey. Comparatively, they are simple and easy when you stack them up against long-term recovery. Staying sober in a facility is not hard. The real challenge begins when addicts and alcoholics leave treatment.

Sadly, most don't make it . . . at least not the first time. They relapse, usually within the first year. Those who are most likely to do so are easy to spot. They are the ones who don't follow their discharge plans, don't follow them fully, completely and with vigor. They are the ones who want to rush back to a "normal" life, however they define that. It's madness. They have sunk to a place of such desperation and illness that they need to be in treatment for at least 30 days and then they want to fly on their own, unaided professionally, making their own decisions, picking and choosing what discharge recommendations they will follow expecting that they have the ability to do this successfully. What?? Typically, they will not go to the meetings recommended for the length of time recommended. They won't go to extended care or an SLE or if they do they won't go for the length of time recommended. They will want to get back to work or get a job if they weren't working before treatment and they will want to work long hours to make up for lost time and fill their damaged bank accounts. Then they are too busy to go to meetings. They won't engage in monitoring if that has been recommended. They begin to see recovery as a "waste of time" because they are now so busy. They might engage in some of the discharge recommendations, but not all of them. They pick and choose which ones they will do like it is a smorgasbord.

This almost always spells relapse. It is as predictable as April showers. Families are often complicit in their addict's unwillingness to do everything recommended instead urging them to get "back to a normal life", to engage in the things that normal healthy people do because that is what their loved ones so desperately want to see (normal, healthy behavior), thus bolstering their hope that their loved one is really "okay."

When the relapse comes, as it inevitably does under these circumstances, they are all dismayed and surprised. "Treatment didn't work", they claim. "Twelve step programs don't work, either", they go on. Not so. These things do work and there is living proof around us every day that they do. As my friend quite correctly pointed out, "It's not the 12 steps do the work, it is we who need to work the steps."

A final comment: it is naive and unrealistic to think that this very ill person can go from the cocoon of treatment where they are getting 24/7 care and regimentation back to an environment with no professional support, guidance or structure and expect to make it. Those who fare best will be those who continue with professional help, guidance and structure of some sort.

There is Help~There is Hope

Intervention for Impaired Professionals

When it comes to intervening on a licensed professional or conducting an intervention for a family member or friend of a licensed professional are all interventions and interventionists the same? Or, are licensed professionals a unique population where an interventionist's common background and experience can be beneficial?

Licensed professionals are people such as lawyers, doctors, pharmacists, dentists, veterinarians, nurses, airline pilots or other license holders. They are indeed unique in a number of ways. Overall, they generally hold a higher level of education and/or specialized training than most of the population. They are in positions of power, trust and authority. They are used to giving direction, not taking it and they are used to being in control. They are people who provide others with help and are not used to being in a position of needing it themselves. Because of this, their denial is unusually very high and is even harder to break through than the average person's. On top of this is an inherent arrogance people in this group tend to possess. They don't like being told what to do and are loathe to accept help particularly from anyone who has less education or no professional background.

When it comes to addressing their addiction licensed professionals have other considerations, too. They often have licensing board and/or malpractice issues that need to be dealt with. Whoever is conducting the intervention needs to be familiar, sensitive and prepared to deal with these issues.

Finally, when intervening on a licensed professional consideration needs to be given to the model of intervention to be used. Johnson model . . . or the invitational systemic model or executive intervention?

Yes, working with the licensed professional population takes certain skill, expertise, education and background in order to increase the odds of a successful outcome. An interventionist who holds a doctorate, shares the same or similar licensing background, knows about licensing boards and how they operate brings to the table something special and uniquely beneficial that other interventionists and consultants without such a background do not.

Addiction is not easy to deal with. Denial is extremely tough to break through. This is particularly so with licensed professionals. Having an interventionist with a professional background provides one more edge in dealing with this very unique population. I guess that is why I feel so comfortable working with this group and why they as a group feel more comfortable with me and so do their families. Having a doctorate degree, taking and passing a professional licensing board, having had a private legal practice for many years and knowing the stresses and strains of a professional life make identification and working with this special population one that goes beyond mere lip service. It is real. It is shared. And, it helps.

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Intervention: Changing Directions Before It's Too Late

If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed~ Chinese Proverb

Makes sense, doesn't it? Addiction intervention is all about changing direction. It is about changing direction as a family, changing direction regarding health and wellness. Systemic Family Intervention is an open invitation to all, including the loved one you are concerned about, to embrace an opportunity to transform . . . to heal and grow in a different direction. It is not about minor little adjustments, it is about big changes, ones that are guided and supported as you go through this process. Addiction is not little; you know that. The changes necessary to deal with it will not be little either; you know that, intuitively. You know where you have come from. You know what you have done in the past has not worked. You know that the addiction is getting worse and your best efforts have not succeeded, or not succeeded for long.

Intervention is about changing direction before a consequence results from which you and your family can not recover. There are such consequences . . . the death of a loved one, a child perhaps, from drunken driving; death resulting from alcoholic or drug-fueled anger; permanent paralysis from an injury while under the influence. Yes, the proverb is right on . . . If you don't like where you are headed make a bold, healthy move and get help in intervening so that you can head in a direction that you really wish to go . . . before it is too late.

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Intervention: Crisis is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Intervention usually happens as the result of some crisis. Think about it . . . arrest, divorce, fired from job, accident, injuries. It is never done when people are having a good day. But, people do not usually act with the first crisis. The arrest happens, lawyers fix it, time passes . . . the pain of the crisis goes away. Then there is the threat of divorce, big arguments, tempers calm, time passes . . . the pain of the crisis goes away. Then the job is lost, there is the scramble to find a new job, interviewing, finally getting the new job, time passes . . . the pain of the crisis goes away. And, the addiction all this time marches merrily along, getting worse . . . and worse . . . and worse.

Crisis is a golden opportunity to professionally intervene. It doesn't get better. The trick is not to wait for crisis after crisis after crisis. The trick is to take the crisis that you can recover from and intervene NOW.

Yes, a crisis is a terrible thing to waste. Will you waste your next one?

Addiction: How Can We Be So Blind???

Did you hear about the 22 year-old guy in Sumter, S.C. who gunned down three trick-or-treaters who came knocking at his door Halloween night, killing one and injuring the other two? He used an assault rifle, firing "at least 29 shots" according to the AP report. The perpetrator claims he thought he was being robbed. I need not read any further to know "there is a bottle in this picture" (if you don't know what this means, stay tuned for tomorrow's blog post). And, I was not disappointed, for the article confirmed my suspicion . . . "a felon with multiple drug convictions . . ." Only 22 years of age and already this man is a felon with multiple drug convictions. (not arrests; Convictions) This guy is in deep with drugs and has been for some time. What do you think the likelihood is that he's an addict?

Okay, that explains him, but where is his family when this young man is running amok with his drugs? Well, brother is doing a dance with co-dependency. We know this because brother tells the reporter that he thinks his brother's violent rampage is caused by "post traumatic stress" from a robbery last December. Huh???? Couldn't be all the drugs he is taking, could it?? Nahhhhhhh. What about other family members; where are they? What do you think they are thinking? Do you think they see a connection between drugs and this violent outburst?

And, the police . . . what's up with them? The Police Chief acknowledges this guy's history with drugs, but says she didn't think he was under the influence at the time of the shootings. I hope they did a tox screen. But, even if this man was not technically under the influence at the time of the shootings, can she truly not think they played any part in this violent act regardless of his toxicity level at the time of the incident??? Does she have any idea what drugs do to a person's thinking even when they aren't loaded?

And, what about society?? Do you think people at large, if they give this any thought at all, will see the connection between this crime and drugs? Society will place blame (at least a good part of it) for this incident on the availability of assault weapons or buy into the PTSD excuse or pin it on some other something . . . anything but the glaring reality of drug addiction.

How can all of these people, society included, be so blind? How could this "problem" have gone on for so long, been known to so many people and been missed, underestimated, ignored, transcended, misdiagnosed or whatever? Bottom line . . . the boat was missed. What could have been done? What should have been done? Could professional help for this family specifically relating to drug addiction helped? Who should be responsible (oh, how we all hate that word) for initiating it? What do you think?

The good news: There is help through professional intervention . . . BEFORE the police get involved, before lives are lost. Intervention can lead to treatment, to help . . . for this man, for his family. I suspect this had never been done in this case; if it had, it would have been mentioned in the article. Families don't have to let it get this bad. Look at the lives that would have been saved, the destruction that would have been spared.

What is sad here is that if this issue had been addressed aggressively, seriously and appropriately looooooooooong ago things very well might have been different. They couldn't have been any worse! Please, if you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or drugs, don't wait; call for help today,(415) 717-3675.

Prop 5: A Trojan Horse?

Some people believe California's Prop 5 to be something of a Trojan Horse . . . on the outside it looks great, but on the inside it is filled with dangerous things. Voters will have to decide that on election day for themselves. But, I have to again ask the question, why do we (and I include society here) let things get so bad? By the time the person (addict) comes to the attention of law enforcement, they have been in their disease a long time. Do you really think that the first, second, third arrest is the first time anyone knows this person has a drug or alcohol problem?? Get real. Lots of people know. Their families, their friends, their neighbors, their bosses, their co-workers, people who have cleaned up their consequences (i.e. lawyers, doctors, social workers, clergy). But those who have seen it have either missed the signs entirely or have chosen to turn a blind eye. Had one person, just one, stepped up and sought professional help the chances are the police and the courts would never become involved. Would it prevent every criminal case fueled by drugs from becoming a criminal case? No. But, if it prevented one in 5 or one in 10 from reaching the criminal justice system the savings would be unimaginable!!

The next time you see an over-the-top crime that hits the headlines, look for "the bottle in the picture." By that I mean the drugs or the alcohol. Chances are you will find them. We have another one that has just hit the scene . . . the tragic story of the family of star Jennifer Hudson. What an awful waste. All of the facts are not in, more investigation is being done. But, already crack cocaine is surfacing in this story. Am I surprised?? Sadly, I'm not. Sober, healthy people don't generally get so out of control committing crimes like this. Would intervention have prevented this? Perhaps not. Perhaps professional intervention was done long ago. Perhaps many times. I doubt it, but maybe so. What I do know is this . . . chemotherapy does not work in all cases. But, we use it as soon as we can. We don't wait. And, we don't not use it because it isn't successful every time.

The Economics of Family Intervention

No doubt about it, we are upon hard economic times and people all across the country are tightening their belts. But, is it money wisely saved to skimp on treating the disease of addiction? Should families save their pennies and wait for the economy to brighten before tackling this nasty family illness? Or, should they use their money to address the disease and heal?

Some Basic Facts:

Fact: The disease does not slow down because the economy does.
Fact: Ignoring, transcending or denying the disease costs families money.
Fact: Expensive and nasty consequences from the disease WILL happen.
Fact: Costly consequences will continue to happen until the disease is treated.
Fact: Money spent on consequences does nothing to address the disease itself.
Fact: Families can choose; spend money on consequences . . . or spend it on help.

Intervention and treatment of addictive disease is largely not covered by insurance like cancer, heart disease and other illnesses are. But, understanding that the disease is robbing the pocketbook through consequences that we can not control, doesn't it make sense to proactively stop the financial bleeding ourselves? The old saying, "You have to spend to save" could not ring more true than with this disease. The best news: you save more than money when you spend it on addiction help.

California Prop 5: Addiction Treatment or Get out of Jail Free Card?

Hear all the buzz around Prop 5? Addiction is a disease; treat it, don't punish it. Treatment saves money and lives. Addicts are sick, not bad people. Drug dealers are criminals killing our children and need to be behind bars. Letting dealers off the hook with lighter sentences is not the answer.
Political rhetoric aside there are certain inalienable truths about addiction, treatment and recovery. Addiction IS a disease. It is treatable. Most of those needing treatment don't get it (the why's are for another blog post). Intervention, treatment and recovery save lives and money. But, drug dealers are criminals. Their product kills. Many are not addicts themselves; they are just "business people." Drunk drivers are criminals. Their actions kill. Are they the same? Should they receive the same punishment? Should they be punished at all?
Better question . . . Why do families wait until this point? Why hasn't someone close to the addict gotten professional help for this DISEASE long before the criminal charges start piling up? Try this on for size . . . if someone had taken the time, effort and interest to intervene professionally, gotten the help they and their loved one needed the criminal charges could have been avoided altogether in most situations. Does intervention save lives? Absolutely. Does it save money??? ABSOLUTELY. Does it save things money can't buy? ABSOLUTELY to the n'th power!!!
There are good, well-reasoned arguments on both sides of the Prop 5 debate. But, isn't a better solution one where families seek professional help themselves and intervene rather than waiting for the police and courts to do so?
You will have the opportunity to voice your opinion in the ballot box soon. Until then, care to let us know what you think here??

Serenity on Mount Tamalpais

Just north of San Francisco's Golden Gate is Mount Tamalpais. It has redwood groves and oak woodlands with a spectacular view from the 2,571-foot peak.

An Intervention by any Other Name

Another celeb arrested for DUI; this time Heather Locklear. Sadly, celeb DUI arrests aren't news any longer. Are all DUIs an indicator of addiction? No. But, connect the dots . . . Checked into a medical facility in June for treatment of anxiety and depression (common manifestations of addiction) . . . And, if you pull the string you will probably find other consequences pointing towards addiction. These are also known as interventions . . . not the easier softer kind . . . but interventions nonetheless. Wouldn't a professional intervention have been nicer? Less expensive? Less humiliating?

No contest. No, that's not the plea . . . that's the answer.

Intervention: What Role Does the Alcoholic/Addict Play?

So, the family is in agreement . . . their loved one's drinking, drugging, what-have-you . . . is out of control and they need help. They are now on the phone with an interventionist citing chapter and verse the litany of consequences that have lead to this call. And, then the following dialogue ensues:

"You are ready now to do an intervention", the interventionist states.
"Well, no because our loved one 'isn't ready'", comes the retort.
"Precisely; that is why the professional intervention. If your loved one were ready to get help you wouldn't be calling, right?"
"No, "you don't get it; he has to be willing to get help and he isn't."

If this circular thinking has you or those you know in its trap you are not alone. Many people cling to it for dear life . . . you can't help them until they are ready. The good news for families . . . . this myth is dead wrong.

The real issue is who decides when to do the intervention? Who is it who has to be "ready?"

The answers are the same . . . the family. More simply, just one individual within the family needs to be willing to lead the way. Believe me, the others will follow. The myth is that the alcoholic/addict has to be "ready"; the reality is that it is the family system that has to be ready. The alcoholic/addict will only become ready when the family is AND leads the way. Professional help is the preferred way to go, thus intervention.

You decide . . .

Intervention! Who Decides?

When a person's drinking, drugging or other addiction becomes a problem who is it who decides to do a professional family intervention? Is it the person closest to the addict/alcoholic (a spouse or parent), a friend or a more distant relative? Is it one person or a group?

The answer is that anyone can decide to start or investigate the intervention process. Generally, it is someone close to the alcoholic/addict although sometimes it is someone more distant (a therapist, clergy member, doctor, lawyer, co-worker or colleague) who suggests the idea to a closer family member who then picks up the ball and runs with it. A commonly held belief is that the whole family group has to be in agreement before the process can even be broached. This is not so and it rarely is. It simply takes one person willing to investigate the option. From here, if others in the family group are willing to learn about professional intervention and engage a short consult with an interventionist, they can quickly learn if intervention is an appropriate option for their situation. If it is, one person generally spearheads the process and the group is on their way. It is not uncommon for people to have fears and doubts around the process, but with guidance all of this is overcome.

So, know this: It is a myth that everyone in the family system has to agree before professional intervention can be considered. It just takes one person to get the ball rolling. With professional help others are educated and join in and the momentum to move from pain to solution is started.

But, what happens if the family is not in agreement as to what the "real" problem is? What role does the alcoholic/addict's attitude have on the intervention process? Stay tuned for answers to these questions.

Intervention or Pew Seats?

One aspect of the disease of addiction, in irony to all the chaos that surrounds it, is that it is predictable. That’s right . . . predictable. More on that another time. But, for right now, on with the story started last Thursday (please read April 17 blog).
As expected, my friend called me because there was an “episode” over the weekend. “My friend went over to his sister’s place and found her passed out, zombie-like”, he related. “He was worried because no one had heard from her in about a week so he went to check. He can’t believe how she was living --- clutter, dirty dishes scattered around, clothes strewn about, general filth --- and she looks awful” he went on. “He’s shocked at how quickly she’s going down and the family is now worried, but they are scared and divided on what to do”, he ended, sadly.

“Not unusual,” I said to my friend. ”The disease is working on them, too. As long as it keeps them scared and divided, they will do nothing other than what they have been doing and that has not worked. If they want help, have them call me. It will cost them nothing to talk briefly.” They did.

“Who gets involved in an intervention?” was one of the questions asked. In the early days of intervention (it’s only been around since the ‘60s) there was a macabre saying, “Those who would be in the first 2 rows at her funeral”, I replied. In essence, those who love her, care for her, want to see her get well and would care enough to attend her funeral no matter when or where it was. Intervention? Funeral? Hmmm . . . .

Not Ready for Intervention?

A friend called me the other day after talking with a friend of his. “My friend’s sister is being destroyed by meth”, he said. “He wants to do something to help her, but his parents say they’ve talked with her and she’s ‘not ready’ so they are going to wait.” My friend suggested to his friend that his friend’s parents consider intervention. He said they think it won’t do any good until the sister is ready.

My heart hurts for this family and for their addicted loved one. “If they wait until they think she is ‘ready’ it may be too late”, I replied sadly. “They are just hoping she will get ‘ready’ on her own so they won’t need to do anything” my friend retorted. He knows the family is hoping for an easy way out, to not have to tackle this problem head on, to have their daughter realize her problem and take steps on her own. He knows they don’t want to spend the money or time on intervention, they are just hoping the issue goes away. My friend knows the world of addiction. He also knows the benefit of intervention. You see, my friend is an addict whose family loved him enough to professionally intervene when he wasn’t “ready.” He knows that if the family had waited for him to be ready he would probably be dead. He credits his family with saving his life and he is grateful for the courage it took for them to get help.

Like mine, his heart hurts. But, like the disease of addiction, he is patient and knows that he will be hearing from his friend again.

Spring: A Time of Change

Spring is a time of abundant change. Everywhere we look things are different with each passing day; lawns, gardens (and yes, weeds) are growing like crazy, the weather is warming, days are getting longer, flowers and trees are blooming. Spring is also a time when we humans do a lot of changing. It is a time when we feel more alive and burst forth with new resolve and energy, tackling issues that have been sitting dormant during the cold winter months . . . or maybe even years. Health in general, and recovery in particular, are no exception. Those who are in recovery might decide to work the steps again or take in more recovery-related activities and commitments. Sometimes they decide to tackle collateral issues that have plagued them for a long time, i.e. quit smoking, start exercising, eat healthier. Families that have been troubled with a loved one's alcoholism or addiction decide "now is the time" and commit as a family to getting outside help. If you are in recovery, have you ever noticed how many "birthdays" there are during the spring? Hmmm . . . . .

If you've been thinking about change in your life, perhaps now is the time!