Controlling Destiny or Destiny Controlling?

There are a few favorite sayings that I like because they put in a nutshell a truism. For example, "What isn't measured isn't managed"; "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." Some sayings sound good, but are either not true or are bad advice, such as "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me"; "AA is like a smorgasbord . . . take what you like and leave the rest."

Then we have sayings or philosophies like "We control our own destinies." True? Or not? Are we the masters of our own fate? Completely? Or are some things out of our control?

Here's my take . . . There are some things we can control to a certain degree . . . where we live, who we marry, our honesty and integrity. Other things we control much of the time, but not all of the time . . . where we work, what college we attend. Some things are completely out of our control . . . natural disasters, how other people will treat us. I believe that choices we make have an impact on outcomes and, in to that degree, we do have some control over our destinies. For example, if a person studies hard, get good grades, that person will have a better chance of getting into the college of their choice. There are no guarantees, but the odds are greatly improved. The friends we choose and how we treat them will impact our futures in a positive or negative way. Is there an exact science to all of this, a certainty? Of course not. But, better choices lead to better results. So, in that way, I do believe we have some control over our destinies.

Addiction robs people of this. Addicts routinely make bad choices over and over. Life happens to them rather than the other way around. They become "victims" of consequences. Life gets "out of control" the more the disease advances and not surprisingly. Addiction, after all, is a disease of "loss of control."

If people want to have some impact on their destiny, some say in where they want life to take them, to have some control, a good place to start is by getting help for any addiction that ails them. This goes for the co-dependents as well. Then, rather than destiny controlling us we have some say in controlling our own futures.

What do you think?