Bay Area Intervention Addiction Recovery Consulting Services

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noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 16:29:00 +0000

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noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:35:00 +0000

Please note my new e-mail address, alicearcs@att.net. E-mail sent to my old address after March 30, 2010 will not reach me. Please begin using my new e-mail address now.

Thank you,

Alice . . .

Alice Tanner, JD, IS

Addiction Recovery Consulting Services

www.bayarea-intervention.com

(415) 717-3675

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Thanksgiving Wishes

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 02:34:00 +0000

Intervention Knows No Season

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:42:00 +0000

Fall . . . a time of year when we think of holidays, of family, of giving thanks, of being together, of joy and love, good friends and good food. For families suffering with addiction, the holidays are anything but these things. Addiction doesn't go away, take a break or give us a reprieve because the festivities of the season are upon us. In fact, it can be quite the opposite; the ugliness of the disease comes out in all its glory.

As family and friends slowly and with trepidation come to the conclusion that intervention might be a viable option for them, they then struggle with when to move forward and do it. The obstacles are many . . . Thanksgiving with family is planned . . . kids are in college and have exams . . . travel is so hard during the holidays . . . let's not ruin everyone's festive mood . . . Yes, the holidays are a convenient obstacle.

In reality, there is never a "perfect" time to address this issue; it is an issue the family has hoped they would never have to address at all. But alas, addiction runs its own course and holidays are not a shield to illness or a reason for putting off serious healthcare. Rather than focusing on the obstacles of the holidays, consider the benefits they offer; the family is coming together anyway, intervention is a gift of love and what better time to give it than the season of giving, what better way to say "I love you!"

If you or your family need help, there is no better time to reach out for it!

Intervention: Gift of a Lifetime

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 05:44:00 +0000

Another year is rapidly coming to a close, the holidays are fast approaching. The "problem" is still here . . . addiction. It comes in various forms, no two families are the same. For some it is alcohol, others it is drugs, others it is gambling, sex, internet, food, spending. For still others it is a combination of these. Regardless, the frustration, despair, chaos, anxiety, anger is all as large as life. Periods of calm are always replaced by another "incident." Another year and nothing has changed. And, we promised ourselves it would get better.

You are not alone in putting off intervention. For most families professional intervention is the last stop, the resource they are forced into using when there is nothing else left. Sadly, they don't realize what a gift systemic intervention is. That's right, a gift! It is the greatest gift a family can give itself and its loved ones. To learn what this gift has to offer or talk to others who have experienced its rewards, please call.

Happy Holiday From Addiction

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:33:00 +0000

Happy Holidays to all of our friends and family from Bay Area Intervention and Addiction Consulting - Alice Tanner & Loki my 3 year old Chow

Intervention is Only a Start

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:33:00 +0000

I was having coffee with a friend of mine from Southern California this afternoon and we got to talking about intervention, treatment and recovery. We both are in the field of addiction recovery; he has been in this business for over 30 years. We both agreed that intervention and treatment are mere beginnings, a bridge if you will, to recovery. Recovery is long-term . . . a lifelong process if we are lucky. Intervention and treatment are short-term, the start of this lifelong journey. Comparatively, they are simple and easy when you stack them up against long-term recovery. Staying sober in a facility is not hard. The real challenge begins when addicts and alcoholics leave treatment.

Sadly, most don't make it . . . at least not the first time. They relapse, usually within the first year. Those who are most likely to do so are easy to spot. They are the ones who don't follow their discharge plans, don't follow them fully, completely and with vigor. They are the ones who want to rush back to a "normal" life, however they define that. It's madness. They have sunk to a place of such desperation and illness that they need to be in treatment for at least 30 days and then they want to fly on their own, unaided professionally, making their own decisions, picking and choosing what discharge recommendations they will follow expecting that they have the ability to do this successfully. What?? Typically, they will not go to the meetings recommended for the length of time recommended. They won't go to extended care or an SLE or if they do they won't go for the length of time recommended. They will want to get back to work or get a job if they weren't working before treatment and they will want to work long hours to make up for lost time and fill their damaged bank accounts. Then they are too busy to go to meetings. They won't engage in monitoring if that has been recommended. They begin to see recovery as a "waste of time" because they are now so busy. They might engage in some of the discharge recommendations, but not all of them. They pick and choose which ones they will do like it is a smorgasbord.

This almost always spells relapse. It is as predictable as April showers. Families are often complicit in their addict's unwillingness to do everything recommended instead urging them to get "back to a normal life", to engage in the things that normal healthy people do because that is what their loved ones so desperately want to see (normal, healthy behavior), thus bolstering their hope that their loved one is really "okay."

When the relapse comes, as it inevitably does under these circumstances, they are all dismayed and surprised. "Treatment didn't work", they claim. "Twelve step programs don't work, either", they go on. Not so. These things do work and there is living proof around us every day that they do. As my friend quite correctly pointed out, "It's not the 12 steps do the work, it is we who need to work the steps."

A final comment: it is naive and unrealistic to think that this very ill person can go from the cocoon of treatment where they are getting 24/7 care and regimentation back to an environment with no professional support, guidance or structure and expect to make it. Those who fare best will be those who continue with professional help, guidance and structure of some sort.

There is Help~There is Hope

Intervention for Impaired Professionals

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:33:00 +0000

When it comes to intervening on a licensed professional or conducting an intervention for a family member or friend of a licensed professional are all interventions and interventionists the same? Or, are licensed professionals a unique population where an interventionist's common background and experience can be beneficial?

Licensed professionals are people such as lawyers, doctors, pharmacists, dentists, veterinarians, nurses, airline pilots or other license holders. They are indeed unique in a number of ways. Overall, they generally hold a higher level of education and/or specialized training than most of the population. They are in positions of power, trust and authority. They are used to giving direction, not taking it and they are used to being in control. They are people who provide others with help and are not used to being in a position of needing it themselves. Because of this, their denial is unusually very high and is even harder to break through than the average person's. On top of this is an inherent arrogance people in this group tend to possess. They don't like being told what to do and are loathe to accept help particularly from anyone who has less education or no professional background.

When it comes to addressing their addiction licensed professionals have other considerations, too. They often have licensing board and/or malpractice issues that need to be dealt with. Whoever is conducting the intervention needs to be familiar, sensitive and prepared to deal with these issues.

Finally, when intervening on a licensed professional consideration needs to be given to the model of intervention to be used. Johnson model . . . or the invitational systemic model or executive intervention?

Yes, working with the licensed professional population takes certain skill, expertise, education and background in order to increase the odds of a successful outcome. An interventionist who holds a doctorate, shares the same or similar licensing background, knows about licensing boards and how they operate brings to the table something special and uniquely beneficial that other interventionists and consultants without such a background do not.

Addiction is not easy to deal with. Denial is extremely tough to break through. This is particularly so with licensed professionals. Having an interventionist with a professional background provides one more edge in dealing with this very unique population. I guess that is why I feel so comfortable working with this group and why they as a group feel more comfortable with me and so do their families. Having a doctorate degree, taking and passing a professional licensing board, having had a private legal practice for many years and knowing the stresses and strains of a professional life make identification and working with this special population one that goes beyond mere lip service. It is real. It is shared. And, it helps.

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Intervention: Changing Directions Before It's Too Late

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 01:57:00 +0000

If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed~ Chinese Proverb

Makes sense, doesn't it? Addiction intervention is all about changing direction. It is about changing direction as a family, changing direction regarding health and wellness. Systemic Family Intervention is an open invitation to all, including the loved one you are concerned about, to embrace an opportunity to transform . . . to heal and grow in a different direction. It is not about minor little adjustments, it is about big changes, ones that are guided and supported as you go through this process. Addiction is not little; you know that. The changes necessary to deal with it will not be little either; you know that, intuitively. You know where you have come from. You know what you have done in the past has not worked. You know that the addiction is getting worse and your best efforts have not succeeded, or not succeeded for long.

Intervention is about changing direction before a consequence results from which you and your family can not recover. There are such consequences . . . the death of a loved one, a child perhaps, from drunken driving; death resulting from alcoholic or drug-fueled anger; permanent paralysis from an injury while under the influence. Yes, the proverb is right on . . . If you don't like where you are headed make a bold, healthy move and get help in intervening so that you can head in a direction that you really wish to go . . . before it is too late.

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Intervention: Crisis is a Terrible Thing to Waste

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 04:07:00 +0000

Intervention usually happens as the result of some crisis. Think about it . . . arrest, divorce, fired from job, accident, injuries. It is never done when people are having a good day. But, people do not usually act with the first crisis. The arrest happens, lawyers fix it, time passes . . . the pain of the crisis goes away. Then there is the threat of divorce, big arguments, tempers calm, time passes . . . the pain of the crisis goes away. Then the job is lost, there is the scramble to find a new job, interviewing, finally getting the new job, time passes . . . the pain of the crisis goes away. And, the addiction all this time marches merrily along, getting worse . . . and worse . . . and worse.

Crisis is a golden opportunity to professionally intervene. It doesn't get better. The trick is not to wait for crisis after crisis after crisis. The trick is to take the crisis that you can recover from and intervene NOW.

Yes, a crisis is a terrible thing to waste. Will you waste your next one?

Controlling Destiny or Destiny Controlling?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 01:46:00 +0000

There are a few favorite sayings that I like because they put in a nutshell a truism. For example, "What isn't measured isn't managed"; "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." Some sayings sound good, but are either not true or are bad advice, such as "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me"; "AA is like a smorgasbord . . . take what you like and leave the rest."

Then we have sayings or philosophies like "We control our own destinies." True? Or not? Are we the masters of our own fate? Completely? Or are some things out of our control?

Here's my take . . . There are some things we can control to a certain degree . . . where we live, who we marry, our honesty and integrity. Other things we control much of the time, but not all of the time . . . where we work, what college we attend. Some things are completely out of our control . . . natural disasters, how other people will treat us. I believe that choices we make have an impact on outcomes and, in to that degree, we do have some control over our destinies. For example, if a person studies hard, get good grades, that person will have a better chance of getting into the college of their choice. There are no guarantees, but the odds are greatly improved. The friends we choose and how we treat them will impact our futures in a positive or negative way. Is there an exact science to all of this, a certainty? Of course not. But, better choices lead to better results. So, in that way, I do believe we have some control over our destinies.

Addiction robs people of this. Addicts routinely make bad choices over and over. Life happens to them rather than the other way around. They become "victims" of consequences. Life gets "out of control" the more the disease advances and not surprisingly. Addiction, after all, is a disease of "loss of control."

If people want to have some impact on their destiny, some say in where they want life to take them, to have some control, a good place to start is by getting help for any addiction that ails them. This goes for the co-dependents as well. Then, rather than destiny controlling us we have some say in controlling our own futures.

What do you think?

Antidotes to Fear

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:35:00 +0000

I've been on a "fear" kick for the past few days, so I will wrap it up tonight with antidotes. Fear is a God-given emotion and will strike all of us at some time or another; that is a given. Big fears, little fears, all sorts of them. Some poor souls are naturally fear-based, living in a fairly constant state of worry. For me, real fear of any significant size is an uncommon and unpleasant emotion, one I want to be rid of sooner rather than later. So, as a solution-oriented person I've developed antidotes to fear that work pretty well and I share them with you here:

1. Be realistic about your fears ~ the acronym for F.E.A.R (False Evidence Appearing Real) can be an absolute truism. Assess how realistic your fear is; you will probably come to see that it is not as bad as you believe it to be

1. Visualize your worst fear ~ when I do this I can develop a familiarity with my fear that takes much of the power away from it

3. Develop a plan of action ~ once you visualize the fear figure out a plan of action around it; being prepared offers a genuine sense of comfort and control

4. Share you fear with a trusted and sound-minded friend or advisor ~ it is said that sharing pain/fear lessens it by half; sharing joy doubles it.

Do you have helpful tips to share? Stories of fear overcome? Thoughts? Please chime in.

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Fear: Paralyzer or Motivator

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 05:15:00 +0000

In FDR's fist inaugural speech in 1933 he spoke these famous words, " . . . the only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . ." This country was in the depths of the Great Depression, a time that people who lived through it can recall with vivid anguish. FDR talked about fear "paralyzing" needed efforts. In this sense fear takes control and the tasks that need to be done are not done. Things only get worse, compounding the fear that is already out of control. But, is fear always a bad thing? Can it be, under certain circumstances, a motivator? Are there things we might not otherwise do but for fear?

When it comes to dealing with addiction fear starts off as a paralyzer. Families are slow to take action because they are afraid of what will happen, afraid of their loved one's response, afraid of what will be required of them in the process, afraid they are making too much of the situation, afraid of losing control and the list goes on. The longer they wait to get help, the worse the problem gets and the fear escalates. At some point, the pain of the consequences from the disease reach a stage where it is unbearable and a shift begins to occur. Fear starts to turn into a motivator. Families become afraid that their loved one will hurt themselves or someone else, that their loved one will die or kill someone else. They fear the loss of another job or another angry blow-up. They fear public humiliation and embarrassment. Fear now turns from paralyzing into motivating and turns inaction into action.

As FDR addressed the problems of the country and his plans for restoration, he stated "There are many ways in which it can be helped, but it can never be helped merely by talking about it. We must act and act quickly." The same words can be applied to the disease of addiction and the need for getting help. Act and act quickly. People would not wait to end the suffering of themselves or their loved one under any other circumstances. Why with this disease?

So, when fear strikes don't get stuck in paralysis. Instead, use this emotion to your advantage . . . to motivate your family into action.

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Intervention Fears: How Realistic Are They?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 01:24:00 +0000

Every call I receive contains many spoken and unspoken negative feelings and emotions . . . anger, doubt, sadness, despair, anxiety. The biggest one is fear, the underlying taproot of all the others. Fear of what? Well, fear of everything. Fear of what I might tell them, fear of over-reacting to the situation, fear of their loved one's response, fear of the unknown, fear of the process, fear of the cost, fear of other people in the family, fear of. . . . you name it. Are the fears real? Absolutely. If it's your fear, it's very real. The question, however, is not are the fears real, but are the fears realistic? Most of the time they are not. That is the good news.

The bad news is getting the caller to believe me. Oh, my God. When one fear is addressed the justifications for another are trotted out. Get rid of that one and another is marched forth. It's endless; way too much to go into in one blog post. So, let me address one of the biggest and most common ones; fear of their loved one's response to an intervention. He or she will be so angry they will never speak to me again . . . Or, he or she will run away, they lament. I've facilitated innumerable interventions over the years and this has never happened. Not once. Why? Because there is nothing to run away from! The interventions I facilitate are all invitational, so running away is a non-issue. As far as never speaking again . . . it's quite the opposite. They come, they speak. And, they speak respectfully, because it is a respectful process. And, they learn. In large part what they learn is that their family cares SO much for them that they faced this fear and walked through it anyway. Their family cares SO much for them they hired help. Their family cares SO much for them they put aside their lives to assemble for a 2-day workshop. Their family cares SO much about them that they risked their loved one's hate, scorn, contempt, anger, rudeness and withholding of love to intervene anyway. As the process unfolds, this becomes undeniably clear, even to someone screwed up on drugs and alcohol. The impact . . . very powerful.

Are the fears real? Yes, indeed. So is the overwhelming love of a family that would go to the lengths to put together an intervention. Are the fears realistic? No. What is realistic is the hope a family can realize when they get help.

Don't let your fears bind you . . . or worse. Reach out for help. It is there, waiting.

There is Help ~ There is Hope

Reaching Out: Friend From Past Reconnects

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 06:23:00 +0000

How important is our youth? Are there certain times in our life that are just "special" in ways that perhaps we don't realize until many years later? Are there people we have lost touch with that we could reach out to . . . find after many years . . . perhaps 32 of them? Will we see certain parts of them that were there all those years before, pieces of their personalities that still stand out, that have remained even though the years have long since gone?

I had a chance to find out recently when a fellow I met on a cruise 32 years ago called me out of the blue. A girlfriend and I met this young man when we were on the adventure of a lifetime . . . a Mediterranean cruise. We were all so young then; what a magical time. He was traveling with his family (parents and siblings). He became smitten with my friend, and a group of several, including a couple of his siblings, all palled around together. Life was so BIG and we thrilled at all it had to offer . . . the adventures, the sights, everyday something new and different. It was such a time of innocent freedom, good fun, joy at being alive.

Life has happened to both of us during these 32 years and we have had fun catching up on it. Most of all I wondered what made this man pick up the phone and reach out after all this time. He said he was moving some things from his office and came across a box of old pictures and stuff from the mid-70's. It took him back to a time in life that he realizes now was so incredibly special. He said he didn't want to die with any regrets and he would have regretted not reaching out to see where I was, what I was doing, if I was well. When I first heard his message on my voice mail I assumed the worst . . . his mother or a sibling had passed away. Isn't that what usually prompts us to call? But, no. It was life, not death or tragedy that prompted him to call.

As we talked, he said, "You've still got the crazy sense of humor I remember." Yes, and he still used words and phrases that, for me, rolled 32 years back in a flash. The brain is an amazing organ. I could see the deep blue water, feel the Mediterranean warmth, recall the richness of our youthful camaraderie.

Addiction sucks the life right out of us. It takes away all the joys. It can take it away in our youth making it so that we don't have these kinds of memories to enjoy with a friend 32 years later. Addiction can make it so that upon finding those photographs a person is too sick to reach out . . . or when they reach out they find someone on the other end who is not well.

This man and I talked about relationships, how important they are, how precious our family and friends are. Do you have someone you haven't connected with in a long time? Wonder where they are, how they are doing, what they've done with their lives? Maybe it's time to reach out, to reconnect and, yes, to remember.

If drugs or alcohol are robbing your quality of life or that of a loved one, please reach out for help. Life is too dear to sit back and do nothing; time is too valuable to waste.

There is Help~There is Hope

Election Day: The Power of Choice

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 20:41:00 +0000

Today is election day! Regardless of the outcome, today will be an historic one in our country. The right to vote, in essence the right to choose, is a powerful privilege. Not everyone has this privilege and those who don't suffer.

Addiction takes from addicts and their families many things . . . relationships, reputation, marriages, money, jobs, freedom, health. The first thing it takes is the addict's ability to choose. The ability to say "no" to alcohol or drugs and mean it reliably, consistently and permanently is gone despite escalating and increasingly devastating consequences. Recovery restores that.

At the polls today I expressed my choice. I also expressed gratitude for my right to do that and for my restoration of choice vis-a-vis alcohol and drugs.

If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or drugs, please choose to get help. If you don't seek help here, please get it somewhere.

These is Help ~ There is Hope

Can You Find the Bottle (Addiction) in This Picture?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:17:00 +0000

In yesterday's post about the newspaper article on the tragic shooting in South Carolina I said "there is a bottle in this picture." What this means is that when I read an article or hear a news story, if it has crazy, outlandish, bizarre, whacked-out behavior associated with it, I just know that there has to be drugs and/or alcohol involved. "The bottle" refers to the booze or the drugs and is my euphemism for them. Here's what I mean . . .

We all know that alcohol and drug addictions cause people to do crazy things, think crazy thoughts, rack up outrageous consequences. Most of this madness is confined to a private level. However, when a person's thinking, acting and behaving get completely "out of control" it often makes headlines. Most people don't do outrageous things. So, when you read an article or hear a story on the news detailing something completely crazy, totally "over the top", really bizarre . . . just look for the bottle in the picture. You will find it most of the time.

Here are a few headlines that unequivocally and publicly shout addiction:

“Pilot allegedly tried to fly drunk”
“Man in car died of intoxication”
“Man with prior DUI’s charged with a third”
“Funeral director spent clients’ money on strippers”
“School bus driver charged with drunken driving”
“Drunk driver gets 25 years in fatal crash”
"Ecstasy overdose fatal”
“Parents test positive for meth in family drowning”

Often the headlines are not so obvious, but when you read the body of the article, 9 times out of 10 it will mention alcohol or drugs, thus verifying your suspicion. Here is a sampling:

“Woman charged for allegedly ramming wheelchair-bound mom”
“Man claims rage caused wife’s death”
“Woman arrested in cemetery incident”
“Girl called for help minutes before murder-suicide”
“Pair who fled wrong way on freeway still at large”
“80-year old pleads guilty to attacking wife of 60 years with hammer”
“Panhandler arrested for allegedly kicking dog”
“Man allegedly left to die on windshield”
“Woman charged after fight over crying baby”
“2 plead not guilty in horse’s death”
“Man escapes charges after flowerpot fracas”

In this second set of articles, alcohol or drugs were specifically mentioned somewhere in the story.

So, how do I come to the conclusion that alcohol or drugs were involved in these stories simply by reading the headlines? Think about it. Sober people don't do these things!!! Seriously. Do you know any sober person who rams her wheel-chair bound mother? Who leaves someone to die on their windshield? Who gets arrested in a cemetery incident? No. And, neither do I. Common sense and the law of averages tell me there is a bottle in the picture.

Even scarier than these stories is knowing that there are people who know these people. There are people that know these people have a problem with alcohol or drugs. It's sad that it reaches this level without a friend or family member intervening to help and intervening in a way that is most likely to succeed in helping. Think of the cost, the embarrassment, the humiliation, the loss of life, liberty. It doesn't need to be this way; There is Help~There is Hope

So, the next time you read the newspaper see if you can find the "bottle in the picture." Let us know what you come up with~

Addiction: How Can We Be So Blind???

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:53:00 +0000

Did you hear about the 22 year-old guy in Sumter, S.C. who gunned down three trick-or-treaters who came knocking at his door Halloween night, killing one and injuring the other two? He used an assault rifle, firing "at least 29 shots" according to the AP report. The perpetrator claims he thought he was being robbed. I need not read any further to know "there is a bottle in this picture" (if you don't know what this means, stay tuned for tomorrow's blog post). And, I was not disappointed, for the article confirmed my suspicion . . . "a felon with multiple drug convictions . . ." Only 22 years of age and already this man is a felon with multiple drug convictions. (not arrests; Convictions) This guy is in deep with drugs and has been for some time. What do you think the likelihood is that he's an addict?

Okay, that explains him, but where is his family when this young man is running amok with his drugs? Well, brother is doing a dance with co-dependency. We know this because brother tells the reporter that he thinks his brother's violent rampage is caused by "post traumatic stress" from a robbery last December. Huh???? Couldn't be all the drugs he is taking, could it?? Nahhhhhhh. What about other family members; where are they? What do you think they are thinking? Do you think they see a connection between drugs and this violent outburst?

And, the police . . . what's up with them? The Police Chief acknowledges this guy's history with drugs, but says she didn't think he was under the influence at the time of the shootings. I hope they did a tox screen. But, even if this man was not technically under the influence at the time of the shootings, can she truly not think they played any part in this violent act regardless of his toxicity level at the time of the incident??? Does she have any idea what drugs do to a person's thinking even when they aren't loaded?

And, what about society?? Do you think people at large, if they give this any thought at all, will see the connection between this crime and drugs? Society will place blame (at least a good part of it) for this incident on the availability of assault weapons or buy into the PTSD excuse or pin it on some other something . . . anything but the glaring reality of drug addiction.

How can all of these people, society included, be so blind? How could this "problem" have gone on for so long, been known to so many people and been missed, underestimated, ignored, transcended, misdiagnosed or whatever? Bottom line . . . the boat was missed. What could have been done? What should have been done? Could professional help for this family specifically relating to drug addiction helped? Who should be responsible (oh, how we all hate that word) for initiating it? What do you think?

The good news: There is help through professional intervention . . . BEFORE the police get involved, before lives are lost. Intervention can lead to treatment, to help . . . for this man, for his family. I suspect this had never been done in this case; if it had, it would have been mentioned in the article. Families don't have to let it get this bad. Look at the lives that would have been saved, the destruction that would have been spared.

What is sad here is that if this issue had been addressed aggressively, seriously and appropriately looooooooooong ago things very well might have been different. They couldn't have been any worse! Please, if you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or drugs, don't wait; call for help today,(415) 717-3675.

Early Recovery from Addiction: Why Do We Expect it Not to Feel Bad?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 07:01:00 +0000

Why do addicts, alcoholics and their families have this delusional idea that the early stages of recovery should be anything different than the early stages of recovery from most other diseases? Perhaps it is because they have had to suffer so much to get them into recovery in the first place. Okay . . . that said, should this mean that since they've suffered so dreadfully in order to reach recovery's doorstep that the trauma of early stage recovery simply doesn't happen for them as it does with other diseases? Well, no not exactly, but early recovery from other diseases isn't as bad they think. Well, let's see.

Take a woman diagnosed with breast cancer. One day she is looking great, feeling fine, working hard, raising her three children, being a good wife to a good husband. Life couldn't be better. Oh, and she has all her hair. That day, she gets the results of her mammogram. "We've discovered something; you need to schedule a biopsy." Fast forward . . . "It's malignant; we recommend a mastectomy." Six weeks later, this healthy good looking woman who was working hard, raising her family has now undergone major surgery and is slated for chemotherapy and radiation treatments. She feels bad and she now has scars on her once scar-free body. Twelve weeks later she has no hair. Before the year is out she will have more side-effects from the chemo and radiation treatments she has undergone. This is a year from hell. But, she knew it would be and so did her family. They didn't expect it to be easy or fun. In fact, they expected quite the contrary and they prepared for it. And, during that first year after her diagnosis, they ALL did what they needed to do to treat this disease. This woman may have continued working during her chemo and radiation treatments. Many do. She continued to take care of her family, her home, her children. Her husband pitched in and so did the kids. They learned about her disease and the effects it was going to have on her and on all of them. They all made adjustments. During this year, the woman continued to live her life and take care of her disease and treatment for it. Even with all her family and work obligations, she kept her chemo and radiation treatment appointments, she found time for the surgery and the recovery, she made her doctors appointments, she rested when she was tired. And, she still managed to work, tend her family and have a life.

Many, if not most, addicts, alcoholics and their families do not have such realistic expectations of their early recovery from addiction. How many times have you heard an addict say that they don't have time to go to meetings, work with a sponsor, etc.... because they have to work? You don't hear cancer patients saying they don't have time for their chemo treatments or doctor appointments. How many times have you heard addicts, alcoholics or their families say after 3 months of recovery, "I feel worse now than before, this is too hard, forget it"? You don't hear that coming from cancer patients. They keep doing what they need to do for their recovery, whatever it takes.

The next time you hear the moanings of early recovering addicts or their families, think of the cancer patient. Getting professional consult regarding early recovery is an option to consider, not just for the addict/alcoholic but for the family as well. It will ease the struggle, enhance the recovery process and put into perspective some very unrealistic expectations.

Addiction Treatment Interview with CeDAR's Diane Sanders

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 05:47:00 +0000

Alice Tanner of Addiction Recovery Consulting Services interviews Diane Sanders of University of Colorado's CeDAR treatment program. This program offers in-patient treatment for chemical dependency, a first-rate family program and an extended care program. If you or a loved one suffer with chemical dependency help is a phone call away.

Addiction and Recovery: Trick or Treat?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 07:01:00 +0000

Happy Halloween One and All~

In honor of this day, I began thinking about how addiction and recovery relate to this theme.

Addiction: Trick or Treat? Well, at first we might see the drinking and drugging as great fun . . . . a way to relax, unwind with friends, cut loose. As the addiction advances it turns from a treat to an awful trick. Hung over . . . oy . . . trick. Made a fool of ourselves . . . oyyyy . . . trick. Written up at work due to poor job performance undeniably caused by drinking/drugging . . . . oyyyyyyyyy . . . trick. Drunk driving arrest . . . Big Oy . . . bad, bad trick. Vehicular manslaughter . . . BIG BIG OY . . . Irrecoverable trick.

Recovery: Trick or Treat? Recovery is supposed to be a good thing, right? Make us and our families feel and act better, right? Well, sadly, recovery usually doesn't start off like that. I talked about the trauma of it in yesterday's post. It is a chore, a change, a challenge, psychologically and emotionally painful. Seems like the whole process is one bad trick after another. This is compounded by the delusion that recovery should make us feel better and make things around us easier right away, or at least quickly. How depressing when it doesn't. Add to this a relapse, perhaps. At this point, the poor addict and their family are thinking that this recovery business is really not all that it is cracked up to be. They want to give up, throw in the towel, walk away in anger, frustration and despair. However, if they just keep at it, give it time, put forth the effort and seek outside help recovery becomes a treat. Just as time turned our drinking and drugging from a treat to a bad trick, time turns recovery from a trick into a wonderful treat. Weird how it works . . . or is it?

Got any of your own stories to tell? Please . . . chime in and share them. Who knows whose spirit you might touch~

Recovery's First Year: Trauma or Paradise?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 07:01:00 +0000

After years of suffering, of enduring horrible consequences and personal decline the family finally gets their wish and their loved one enters treatment. Thirty, sixty, ninety days later . . . presto . . . out they come back into the family, back to "real" life. Everything is supposed to be great, right? No . . . that is unrealistic. Well then, how about at least better? No . . . sorry. In fact, things will undoubtedly be worse. "How can that be?", everyone cries. Because the family is in the midst of a thing called trauma.

Recovery results in major trauma to the family system. The addictive family system as it came to "be" during the addiction is now undergoing change and that change is massive and traumatic. The natural result of this trauma causes things to get worse before they get better. This might seem counter-intuitive, but it is not. Thus, a normal . . . yes, normal . . . part of recovery is things getting worse.

Do newly sober addicts/alcoholics and their families need help during this time? Yes, more than ever. They are all in a very vulnerable, tenuous and precarious place. Most relapses occur during the first year of sobriety. Many families break apart during this time because they are unable to weather the changes the system is undergoing. It seems unfair, doesn't it?? To endure the pain of getting sober only to endure more pain, the possible tearing apart of the family system that was still together in the addiction, albeit hanging by threads in very dysfunctional ways . . . it's just not fair. Like it or not, it is the way it is.

What can be done? Families are encouraged to get help during this time. Notice, I said "families." Addiction is a family disease. Recovery is a family process. It is not just the newly sober addict/alcoholic that needs help here. It is the whole family . . . the children, siblings, parents, friends . . . anyone close to the addict who weathered this awful storm. Is help like this available? Yes. Contact Addiction Recovery Consulting Services to discuss the Family Recovery Program and how it might work for your family. The call is free; the potential benefits . . . priceless.

Prop 5: A Trojan Horse?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 06:34:00 +0000

Some people believe California's Prop 5 to be something of a Trojan Horse . . . on the outside it looks great, but on the inside it is filled with dangerous things. Voters will have to decide that on election day for themselves. But, I have to again ask the question, why do we (and I include society here) let things get so bad? By the time the person (addict) comes to the attention of law enforcement, they have been in their disease a long time. Do you really think that the first, second, third arrest is the first time anyone knows this person has a drug or alcohol problem?? Get real. Lots of people know. Their families, their friends, their neighbors, their bosses, their co-workers, people who have cleaned up their consequences (i.e. lawyers, doctors, social workers, clergy). But those who have seen it have either missed the signs entirely or have chosen to turn a blind eye. Had one person, just one, stepped up and sought professional help the chances are the police and the courts would never become involved. Would it prevent every criminal case fueled by drugs from becoming a criminal case? No. But, if it prevented one in 5 or one in 10 from reaching the criminal justice system the savings would be unimaginable!!

The next time you see an over-the-top crime that hits the headlines, look for "the bottle in the picture." By that I mean the drugs or the alcohol. Chances are you will find them. We have another one that has just hit the scene . . . the tragic story of the family of star Jennifer Hudson. What an awful waste. All of the facts are not in, more investigation is being done. But, already crack cocaine is surfacing in this story. Am I surprised?? Sadly, I'm not. Sober, healthy people don't generally get so out of control committing crimes like this. Would intervention have prevented this? Perhaps not. Perhaps professional intervention was done long ago. Perhaps many times. I doubt it, but maybe so. What I do know is this . . . chemotherapy does not work in all cases. But, we use it as soon as we can. We don't wait. And, we don't not use it because it isn't successful every time.

The Economics of Family Intervention

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:43:00 +0000

No doubt about it, we are upon hard economic times and people all across the country are tightening their belts. But, is it money wisely saved to skimp on treating the disease of addiction? Should families save their pennies and wait for the economy to brighten before tackling this nasty family illness? Or, should they use their money to address the disease and heal?

Some Basic Facts:

Fact: The disease does not slow down because the economy does.
Fact: Ignoring, transcending or denying the disease costs families money.
Fact: Expensive and nasty consequences from the disease WILL happen.
Fact: Costly consequences will continue to happen until the disease is treated.
Fact: Money spent on consequences does nothing to address the disease itself.
Fact: Families can choose; spend money on consequences . . . or spend it on help.

Intervention and treatment of addictive disease is largely not covered by insurance like cancer, heart disease and other illnesses are. But, understanding that the disease is robbing the pocketbook through consequences that we can not control, doesn't it make sense to proactively stop the financial bleeding ourselves? The old saying, "You have to spend to save" could not ring more true than with this disease. The best news: you save more than money when you spend it on addiction help.

California Prop 5: Addiction Treatment or Get out of Jail Free Card?

noreply@blogger.com (Alice Tanner) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:42:00 +0000

Hear all the buzz around Prop 5? Addiction is a disease; treat it, don't punish it. Treatment saves money and lives. Addicts are sick, not bad people. Drug dealers are criminals killing our children and need to be behind bars. Letting dealers off the hook with lighter sentences is not the answer.
Political rhetoric aside there are certain inalienable truths about addiction, treatment and recovery. Addiction IS a disease. It is treatable. Most of those needing treatment don't get it (the why's are for another blog post). Intervention, treatment and recovery save lives and money. But, drug dealers are criminals. Their product kills. Many are not addicts themselves; they are just "business people." Drunk drivers are criminals. Their actions kill. Are they the same? Should they receive the same punishment? Should they be punished at all?
Better question . . . Why do families wait until this point? Why hasn't someone close to the addict gotten professional help for this DISEASE long before the criminal charges start piling up? Try this on for size . . . if someone had taken the time, effort and interest to intervene professionally, gotten the help they and their loved one needed the criminal charges could have been avoided altogether in most situations. Does intervention save lives? Absolutely. Does it save money??? ABSOLUTELY. Does it save things money can't buy? ABSOLUTELY to the n'th power!!!
There are good, well-reasoned arguments on both sides of the Prop 5 debate. But, isn't a better solution one where families seek professional help themselves and intervene rather than waiting for the police and courts to do so?
You will have the opportunity to voice your opinion in the ballot box soon. Until then, care to let us know what you think here??